On recommendations
On recommendations
People don’t always do what you expect them to do
I had some interesting conversations following my last newsletter about focus. The general consensus is: we are all really different and we have varying amounts of influence over getting the most from our focus time.
So how have things gone since then? Better and worse. I carved out focus time but got sidetracked with some annoying news. Which led me onto another topic: recommendations and thanks.
My business thrives on recommendations, and I make a point of recommending people where I can. In the past few weeks, one of my lovely clients recommended me for work, I made some new recommendations to others and was generously thanked for recommending someone.
I also found out that a recommendation I made didn’t work out and resulted in a very poor experience. In my world this is A Very Bad Thing. For the first time, I reflected on how I will manage recommendations in the future and I learnt a bit about myself in the process.
People don’t always do what you expect them to do
Even if it means dealing with consistently terrible behaviour, I prefer it when I know what to expect from someone. I like to think I’m good at working people out, so when I am proved wrong, this is frustrating and probably says more about me than them.
But people can be inconsistent for all sorts of reasons. Things in their personal life can cause changes in behaviour and sometimes we don’t know people as well as we think we do. And I acknowledge that I am inconsistent too - life throws all sorts of curveballs which can affect our work.
I make it a habit to check before I recommend someone - can I recommend you for this? But in future, I am going to check more thoroughly. Not only, does this person have capacity to help, but do they feel able to do a good job right now?
But at the same time, I can’t be responsible for other people’s actions
There’s another area of my life where I constantly make and receive recommendations, and that’s tradespeople (I live in an old house which constantly needs work, as do my neighbours).
My neighbour recommended a plumber to me who did a great job at installing my boiler but flooded a ceiling which then collapsed. Countless neighbours have recommended tradespeople that have ghosted me. I found (another) plumber who installed beautiful new radiators for me but got my neighbour’s pipes completely wrong.
We all feed back to each other and joke about how difficult it is to find a good tradesperson. And the good ones are always so busy.
I reflected on why I feel differently about these recommendations, which didn’t all work out. My professional reputation wasn’t on the line, but I value my relationships with my neighbours. I believe it comes down to me not feeling responsible for others’ actions in this case. And perhaps that’s because we always feed back to each other which gives closure to the situation.
So in this situation, I need to give feedback to get closure
And I’ll report back on that, as it’s an awkward conversation that I know I have to do, but don’t really want to do.
I learned that I really value loyalty, and anything which breaches that feels like a betrayal. But, I’m still going to keep my cycle of recommendations. I’ve had one bad experience. I wouldn’t have a business if it wasn’t for recommendations and I love knowing that I have been able to create work for others.
Life lessons from aerial circus
Ahead of performing in a circus show at the weekend, I wrote about why I do aerial circus and what it means to me. I don’t usually write about topics outside of marketing and business and it felt good to write about something personal.